The secret of happy marriages

The Secret Of Happy Marriages

All that dancing and laughter—weddings are a lot of fun, but being married isn’t always a piece of cake. (Sometimes it’s more like the frosting chunk that went up your nose during the smash—good intentions, but wrong outcome.) There’s actually a lot of work that goes into living “happily ever after,” so whether you’ve been married for years or just tied the knot, we asked the experts what couples can do to have a happy marriage. Follow their helpful tips for a stronger, healthier and yes…more blissful bond.

First of all, even happy couples have disagreements.

No marriage experiences constant happiness. There are ups and downs in relationships, according to psychotherapist Erica MacGregor. But she adds that when couples do argue, happy marriages listen to each other's viewpoints, spot when the conversation is losing steam, and fix the problem. The fact is that some of the happiest couples Dr. Juliana Morris has worked with "have withstood bad times," according to the family and couples therapist.

Concentrate on the positive aspects of one another.

It's not always simple to look past tiny irritants, and occasionally you could even detest your partner. However, Ellen Chute, LMSW, asserts that in order to have a happy marriage, you must be able to set reasonable expectations and accept your partner's virtues and faults. Don't get upset when they balance the chequebook incorrectly, for instance, if you're better with numbers. Make setting the budget your responsibility, instead. If cooking is their specialty, they can take care of the meal preparation. Suzann Pileggi Pawelski, co-author of the book Happy Together, which she co-wrote with her husband James Pawelski, PhD, asserts that "using our skills on a regular basis is related with increased well-being." "And we enjoy more relational happiness when we encourage our spouse to play to their strengths,"

 

Don’t expect your partner to complete you.

Reminder: Jerry Maguire is a fictional character from a movie. It was beautiful when he said, "You complete me, but that's not how it works in the real world." According to Pawelski, relying on your spouse to satisfy you might result in an overly reliant relationship where neither of you are developing personally. She argues that in a successful relationship, partners should "complement," not "complete," one another. 

 

Decide to be attracted to your spouse.

Whether you find your partner attractive is up to you. You guessed it—yes. According to Sunny McMillan, a professional life coach, radio personality, and author of Unhitched, "Attraction to your spouse is a decision that you have the capacity to make throughout your marriage." She advises using "attraction ideas" regularly. Focus on the qualities you are most drawn to in your partner, such as their amazing legs or the way they raise your children (it need not be physical), she advises, in order to achieve this. The good news is that you can be attracted to someone even if they aren't a cover model. Happy marriages, in the words of Chute, "are predicated on a sense of connectedness." "Physical attraction goes much beyond appearances."

 

Be kind to each other.

Being respectful of and understanding of your spouse is crucial, according to MacGregor. "Judgment and criticism typically result in defensiveness and bitterness," says the author. So, to maintain harmony in your marriage, refrain from criticising your spouse's personality when you're angry. For instance, she advises against saying, "You're such a slob! Your dishwashing is never done.

 

Celebrate the little victories.

Celebrate the little victories. The majority of us are aware of how crucial it is to support our partners during trying times, according to Pawelski. She adds that it's equally crucial to remember the positive times as well. She claims that although happier events do occur more frequently than unhappy ones, couples frequently pass up these chances to get close. Therefore, she advises, "Immediate stop what you are doing and devote your complete attention" the next time your husband mentions something wonderful, like a compliment from their boss. Asking inquiries and aggressively expressing joy at the excellent news would "help them savour the moment." By doing this, you'll express your appreciation for your marriage's joyful times.

 

Show each other appreciation

"Everyone needs to feel valued and encouraged for the positive things they are accomplishing,

 

Accept and expect change.

Couples must be willing to change and grow in order to have a successful marriage. "Our needs are continually changing, people are growing, and partnerships evolve."